Dear Twitter [a love letter]

Several things happened this week. Interesting, interrelated things that give me pause.

Significantly, this week it was one year since i found out that my (now ex) had been having another relationship the whole time we were together. It was a shock. I thought we were solid, i thought it was it. A year later i can look back and see the cracks, see the things i overlooked or told myself that were unimportant.

But this is not to dwell. This is to rejoice, to thank and to gush just a little bit.

Because a year ago today when i came home and found a facebook inbox from a stranger changing my world around me i found myself unable to contact any of my friends. Sobbing on the couch i was utterly alone. So i told twitter. And they were, and still are, amazing.

Reassuring, kindhearted, supportive people who are real and caring and involved.

It’s why i get fired up when people say that Twitter is just celebrities publicists and people talking about what they had for breakfast. Because if that’s all your twitter stream is then you’re doing it wrong.

In the hours after i found out and i felt everything spiraling away i had three strangers DM me to give me their mobile numbers if i needed to talk to someone, and no less than 10 guys threaten to take a cricket bat to my ex’s head (and a number of ladies, actually).

And it didn’t stop there. It has been a tough year. Shit happened, and then it kept happening. I had dark moments and happy moments. But i knew that if i got on twitter and told them that i hated myself and felt like no one loved me and no one would love me, they would be there. Advice, comfort, inappropriate offers to grab my boobs. You name it, they were there.

Just a month ago i found myself laying in the dark at 1am crying, sobbing, with crashing thoughts that i was hideous and worthless and useless. I wrote something, not to anyone, not asking for help, just to get it out of my head, but there it came, out of the dark. Conversation. with real people with real emotions. Not a spambot, or a celebrity publicist, but people who had been through it, who felt the same, who told me that i was worth it, that they would miss me. Who talked to me for over an hour until i felt almost better. So don’t you dare tell me that Twitter is stupid, that it’s boring, that it’s useless

But what if you’re not a depressed person with self-esteem issues, why have twitter then? If i can give you one reason, let it be this: i’m a better person for having it. Better teacher, better informed, better read. More accepting, more tolerant, more aware.

Twitter gives me links and opinions that i wouldn’t have even thought existed. Politics. Feminism, Sexuality, Education Practices: all things twitter has enriched my life with. I think more deeply now, i see with a better eye because i share more photo’s than i would. I read more widely, both through links that people posted and sites that I came across through things mentioned in passing. I think beyond the little White-middleclass-female-teacher bubble that i had found myself. And it’s amazing. I look at things and think about the gender implications, or political, or body acceptance. I watch more news, i read more opinions. I might disagree with things, but i’m now more informed that at least i have an opinion, instead of being ignorant.

But even after that, after the support and information and experience, it’s still the people i come back for. That make the occasional frustration at the overreactions and exaggeration that my timeline can seemingly fill with.

I come back for people like @TomTheCub who is the most lovely human you can ever meet. Kind and sweet and the person responsible for my interest in trains and transport (and on that last point, @FlangeSquealer too. And also coz he’s FABULOUS).

Or i come back for the teachers inspiring me to keep going and to be better: @OK_Steph, @mikestuchbery @prestontowers @lhjh70     @velvetblaq (and teacher lover @PanickedAttack)

I come back for the interesting and very human people who probably don’t realise how much i really like and appreciate them:  @Oz_f, @tatterededges @emlypie @straffo  @cicolini @CAricHanley  @LaceySnr @miss_om @ZenPsycho @AdamJM (this list could go forever)

On top of those are the people who have no idea that i exist, but who inform me. (they don’t get @’s though as the list would go for even more ever than the last).

THESE are the reasons to be on Twitter. These are the reasons i love it, and even if my timeline wiggs out and has a little bit of an overreaction to something, or gets faux outraged over something and i want to take the hive mind out and shake it, i stop and remember that it’s allowed me to meet people who are amazing. people who educate and inform, who have opinions and ideas and do something about them. People who i think i might love, or could love.

People who care. That hit home a year ago, and hit home again this week.

So, Twitter and the beautiful people that exist within its crazy world. I thank you. Deeply.