Buy nothing new in June and how i came to love Toshl

Back at the start of April, Steve showed me an app that was useful for tracking your spending called Toshl. Both Steve and I have been trying for the last year or so to be better savers. Not for a house or a holiday or anything, just because we don't need to spend the amount of money we perhaps did in 2011. I've always thought of myself as a good saver, living on $40 a week at uni generally forces you to be pretty frugal. Saving to go to the US and then to Europe also are good ways of motivating you. The sheer fear of being in New York with no money and no options is an excellent motivator for a control freak like me. But last year I had no big travel plans. I went to Bali with the girls, but that was paid for by my tax return in its entirety so I didn't have to save at all. Until July, I didn't have a boyfriend, so my life was totally* Sex and the  City. Cocktails, bar hopping, long drinking filled weekends of spending, and the discovery of modcloth.com 
(*ok, so it actually was a little like this for a couple of months last year. We'd do dinner, cocktails, and end up at the Supper Club at 4am drinking expensive wine and eating expensive party pies [man that relish was good] but we all worked proper jobs during the week, none of this hanging around museums or "writing a column")

Come July, and i meet Steve. Wonderful, amazing, can't-believe-the-buzz-from-being-with-him Steve. And the dating. Dating is expensive, regardless of how you do it. We like eating out. We like going to places that bring us food while we sit and talk, often on a Sunday morning. And we do this a couple of times a week and it's awesome. And builds up in cost. We take it in turns to pay. It's the system that works for us. I've never liked bill splitting on dates, i just don't like the idea of negotiating on who had what. Plus, it means i can let him pay for the first date (while still reaching for the bill, Ted Moseby) with the knowledge that i'll get the next one and we'll be even. 

So come April this year, we both decide that we need to track our spending more so we can see where it is going and highlight areas that we can curb (OK, me more than him. He hasn't bought clothes all year, despite not owning a jumper. I, however have spent hundreds on stuff i don't really need. Just look at the screencaps). I could have just used the Kaching app from CommBank. That's actually an awesome bank app, but there are two reasons why Toshl is better than Kaching, or any other app linked to your bank account:

1. You track cash spending. You know, that $20 you took out at the ATM that appears to have disappeared in the 24 hours since you bought it. It went on two lego minifigs, a coffee and spicy beef Sushi.

2. You have to manually enter things. Which means you get the guilt of opening it up, typing in the spending and seeing how much you have spent the last couple of days. And, just like calorie counting apps like My Fitness Pal, you feel guilty, and you reassess things (Side note, if you're trying to lose weight, get My Fitness Pal. I credit that for what is now a 15kg loss and the first time I've had a healthy BMI since i was probably 12. 4kg to go to my ultimate goal weight)

That is ultimately how Toshl works. You input your spending and tag it with a category so you can track how much you spend on each category:

The screencaps are from my toshl since i started using it. As you can see, the two places that i spend the most are on 'dinner' and 'clothes'. Tthe bottom image is just so you can see what the tracker looks like on a day-to-day basis, you just swipe to get to the categories. I have an automated savings plan set up. My pay goes in, my savings go out to my ING account that, in theory, i'm not supposed to touch. But i have. There has been some bad touching going on (naughty). To the point that until i started Toshl i hadn't actually saved anything since December. It would go in, then rent time, or the week after rent would come around and i'd need more money and i would whisk it out again. 

And i've been so disappointed in myself. I knew i could save better, i've done it before, on less money than i'm earning now. So why is it so hard now?

My rent is a bit higher than it was then, and being a "single" (financially anyway) renter means the government completely ignores me when it comes to middle-class welfare. And really, so it should. I don't need it. But sometimes, sometimes, i'd like to be rewarded for choosing to live in an apartment, and not drive. Look at all the good i'm doing for the environment! No massive house with split systems in every room. No unnecessary SUV to drive my one kid around from my suburb that's so poorly infrastructured that there is no other choice.

Before you point to the 'dinner' as the reason i'm not saving, i'd like to point something out: i can go to Derby Thai or Gourmet Dumpling house and spend $15 and get enough food for two meals. I can't go to the supermarket and do $7.50 meals for myself that are that good. When you're cooking for one it gets expensive, even if you do make and freeze like i do when i cook. This afternoon i went to the supermarket and got food for two 'dishes.' A soup and stirfry. The soup was split into four portions, i'm hoping to get 3 out of the stir fry. Not too bad on the budget, but at the same time, not $10 Pad Thai. The other bad thing about being "single" in this aspect, is the monotony that comes with cooking for one. I'll have soup and stir fry all week and it just. gets. boring. First world problem i know, but come on.

So, after all that, what else am i doing to help my savings? 

I'm doing 'nothing new in June.' The Salvo's did something like this not long ago. Encouraged people to buy less, think about their spending. I often try to do a 'no more clothes til the school holidays' too. This month, however, is nothing that's not a consumable. No clothes, no books, no DVDs, no CDs. Concerts, dinners, groceries are ok, i like my lifestyle and can really afford to maintain it that way. But i'm trying to curb that spending too. Basically means i stop browsing ModCloth and Book Depository. I say no to Kali when she asks me to Chadstone on the weekends. I do not need any more clothes. They're pouring out of my wardrobe and Steve doesn't care if he's seen all my clothes before. He's not going to dump me if i wear the same dress a couple of times or i don't have new lingerie to surprise him with. 

I've also cut back on frivolous subscriptions. I was subscribed to Kings Tribune, The New Yorker on my iPad and Last.Fm. All three things which had their uses and were interesting but i just didn't read them or use them enough to warrant the money. I cut back on some charity, but hope to pick it up later (sorry Doctors Without Borders). 

At the same time, i'm continuing the decluttering. Every time i come back from Steve's neat, clean little flat i'm angry at my own for being cluttered and full of stuff i don't touch, don't need or don't wear. My local Opp Shops have received lots of my donations, and will continue to get more. I'm just training myself to want less stuff. Coz it is want. I don't need it. I tell myself that i need it. That i need new black boots or flats or winter dresses because i don't have any or the ones i have are falling apart. That may be true, but is there something else in my wardrobe that will work. Probably. I trained myself to want less food, to need less food, i can train myself to want less stuff. I've never been into "fashion" exactly, and in the last two years I've learnt even more to dress to my body and what flatters me, what's "in" be dammed. I want to enjoy experiences, not stuff. The best moments this year have been that, finding new breakfast places, to having macarons, to seeing Dashboard live again, to laying in the sun on a friday afternoon with the girls or being wrapped up in bed with Steve sleepy on a Sunday morning. THEY have been the best things this year. Not that dress, or those shoes. They probably never will be the best things, even if they are on sale. So it's training myself, that's all it is. Training myself that want and need are different and Mel, you really don't need that. 

Things i wish i didn't have to worry about

Comedy Festival is my favourite time of the year. With the delightfully warmer weather, it's made it more relaxed and meant that i spend more time around the city and less around my suburbs later at night than i would in non-festival times. And doing that means that I'm faced with the dilemma i know many women face 'late night tram or taxi?' 

Why is this a dilemma for me, and many women? Because it's a question of which is going to be less of a risk to my safety. 

This time(ish) last year i went on Slut-Walk. Whatever your disagreements with the movement, almost everyone agreed that people shouldn't be raped and should feel safe wherever they go in our great city. And it's a sad thing that as we were walking away from SlutWalk that i turned to my friend and said 'It's nice that i feel empowered, but I'm still apprehensive of getting in a cab alone at night. This walk won't change that.' 

And it hasn't. A year later, any time i have to come home alone it still feels like I'm risking something getting in a cab or taking the last tram home alone. And i hate that. I don't want to feel that way. But having been cornered on a tram by a group of guys will make that happen. And being asked constant questions about having a boyfriend and who I'm going home to by a cab driver will make that happen. 

Most of the time, I don't even bat an eyelash at this. Not being accosted, but the fact that it might/does happen. Women accept things like this all the time. Accept that these kinds of advances will happen, unwanted, and in a way that will make them uncomfortable. It's the same way that we accept that we will get groped on the arse or tits in certain nightclubs/bars on the dance floor. It just happens, we don't make a fuss because it happens to everyone right? We don't make a fuss because cab drivers make us uncomfortable all the time right? Men hit on us when we're the only ones on the tram and just want to be left alone all the time, right?

But why, why do i have to just accept it? Why do i feel like I'm causing a scene or overreacting if i react to this? Why do people feel they have the right to do this? 

Lazing in the park today, my friends and i were talking about Primary School RE classes, and how the message back then was 

Be a good person. Be kind to people. Treat others how you want to be treated. 

That was it. No messages of hate, no encouragement to take whatever you wanted at the expense of other people. Kindness and empathy. 

A couple of weeks ago that same message was what i came up with at dinner as the key to getting on in life, and even being successful, but i condensed it down then to 'Don't be a Dick.' It's short, it's easy to remember. If you're going to do something, simply ask 'Is this a bit Dickish?' If you even waver at an answer, it probably is and maybe you should just not do it. 

When did people lose this? Did they ever have it? I know there has been lots of talk about institutions condoning or at least pardoning to a certain extent, the continuation of cultures that ignore sexism (things like ADFA and certain university colleges come to mind) but when did we stop assigning individual responsibility? Is it a cultural thing? Why aren't these people considering what they're doing as Dickish? At what point in ones life do you go from being a kid that's taught to love everything to thinking that grabbing a hot chicks tit on the tram when she's alone at 2am is an appropriate, or even non-threatening piece of behaviour? 

Interestingly, I never thought that kind of thing was strange, not even at 18 and fresh from the country did i think 'maybe i shouldn't be groped'. Or that any of this shouldn't happen. Even now, i acknowledge that i should be able to get in a cab or on a tram and feel safe but know that it won't happen. That tomorrow night could be a night where i get off a tram feeling a bit shakey, but man "that's just what happens" it's shitty, but it's not strange. 

That shouldn't be just what happens. That should be strange. 

It's just hard (cross post from my Tumblr)

I have a very different teaching load this year. Last year was different too, moving into new spaces, integrating subjects, bigger teams teaching bigger groups of kids. That was different and difficult in its own way, but it was a step forward. I finally felt like I was teaching kids things that were relevant in a flexible way that allowed for greater individual development with the kids. The jargon line is always “multiple entry points, multiple exit points”. And when things got shit there was someone else in the room who knew it, and could plan against it next time.

This year feels like a step backwards in a sense. I’m not teaching in those integrated subjects anymore. I’m not team teaching at all, for the first time in my career. I’m being forced, in a way, to teach in what I feel are more old school instructional ways that are that step backwards.

On top of that, 4 out of my 6 subjects don’t have a course outline. The two that do? VCE biology which is, of course, written by the “state” and year 8 science which I wrote last year. Sports science ran all last year but there is no program because the teacher who ran it refused to share her course then left the school (and actually the profession). Two subjects are English language Centre subjects, something that I’m really struggling with. Floundering. There’s no indication what people want me to teach these kids, what even the goals of the course are.
For both the courses there are no guiding text books. I don’t love textbooks, I don’t use them a whole lot with the kids, what i do use them for is to guide me on the content I should be teaching. To construct those multiple entry and multiple exits within a class. But there is nothing. And no one to rely on to team teach with.

It’s only the 3rd day of classes and maybe it will change. Maybe I’ll be struck by inspiration and a course will spring to mind. But at the moment it’s just hard.

vanity posting, i suppose.

So i've lost a little bit of weight. I know how much numerically, on the scales, and i know how many dress sizes i've dropped and i'm happy with that. Really happy. I still have about 6kg to go to hit my ultimate goal weight, which i want to do before May which is when our proposed 10 Year school reunion is. But if it takes a bit longer then fine. I have a feeling these last couple will be a struggle, but if i get back into running and learn how to use the mini-gym they've set up at work then i'll be OK. 

What i was really curious about was what i looked like before and after. Because sometimes i struggle to see the difference. I know i fit into clothes that are two or three sizes smaller, but sometimes i look down and still see acres and acres of flesh that needs to be "dealt with"

So this afternoon i put togther a couple of images. A before and after (or during, really) if you will. 

(biggest thing i learnt? I don't have many full body shots of me). 

I wanted to do a Tshirt-tshirt comparison, but i don't really have any recent ones that work, so this is what i've got. 

I through in the 2008 shot because it's the biggest photo of me i can find. The Hep Alien Tshirt i'm wearing in that shot now hangs off me and i'm horrified i had such big guts ever. 

To be completely honest. It doesn't seem like much to me. I can do better and i will do better. 

Top 50 movies

So Kali yells out from the lounge room the other day "Mel! What's your favourite movie of all time?" She'd been asked and didn't have an answer, found it too hard to cut them down. I've always used The Princess Bride as my standard answer to this question, it's a family classic, i know all the words, it's mainstream but still probably regarded as a cult classic. I feel it's a good answer to the question. 
But she couldn't narrow it down anything smaller than a list of 50. I repeat 50. So i've gone and spent a rocking Saturday night putting my list of 50 top movies together. They're in no particular order, just what i thought of off the top of my head. She also put the stipulation in that series of movies (like Harry Potter) could be grouped into one movie ranking, but you could remove a movie. 

1.            Princess Bride

2.            Love, Actually

3.            Coming to America

4.            Lord of the rings trilogy

5.            Bridget Jones’ diary

6.            Harry Potter series (not the 2nd one)

7.            The Breakfast club

8.            Pretty in Pink

9.            Say anything

10.          10 things I hate about you

11.          A knights tale

12.          Aladdin

13.          The Lion King

14.          Mulan

15.          Tangled

16.          Wall-e

17.          How to tame your dragon

18.          Despicable me

19.          Hairspray

20.          The Sound of Music

21.          Sister Act 2

22.          I am Legend

23.          Men in Black series

24.          Four Weddings and a Funeral

25.          Star wars series

26.          Independence Day

27.          Last of the Mohicans

28.          Indian Jones series (not crystal skull)

29.          Easy A

30.          Moulin Rouge

31.          The Matrix (one only)

32.          Up

33.          Good Will hunting

34.          Toy Story series

35.          Wizard of Oz

36.          Back to the Future series

37.          Saving Private Ryan

38.          Beauty and the Beast

39.          Forest Gump

40.          Batman Begins/Dark Knight

41.          Jurassic Park

42.          Weekend at Bernies

43.          Definitely Maybe

44.          Gladiator

45.          Inception

46.          The Social Network,

47.          Sense and Sensibility

48.          The Wedding Singer

49.          Serenity

50.          Speed

Honourable mentions:  That thing you do, Cast Away, Mean Girls, The truman show, district 9, Sleepless in Seattle, A walk to remember, Braveheart, Titanic, Nick and Norah’s infinite playlist,

Listography list 5: This one goes out to...

So I started my summer holiday work today as school goes back in about a week and I should be, you know, prepared or something. “starting work” of course meant going to medicare to change my address and get a new card (on the longest bus route possible really. But it’s a Grendas route and their buses have really cushy bench seats and stops right outside my house), then writing up a complete budget so I know what I should be spending and stashing away instead of having to continually dip into my savings like I have for the last six months. Once I did that I played skyrim, then actually started some work. I got about five minutes in (made a cover for my first booklet for the 12’s, looked at my term schedule) I had to go looking for the CD for the Bio text book and found my listography book.

Long way of saying the new topic of my music list is ‘a song dedicated to each of your friends’. I’m going to start with my posse. It was pointed out to me the other day at my birthday picnic that all of my closest friends are from the country. And it’s true, beyond the boyfriend, everyone there was brought up in the country. Just a curious aside, more than anything, so, to the list!

Robyn

I met Robyn in year 7, she had seen me earlier in the year when I was with my first boyfriend Ben, and wondered why I, someone so seemingly smart, was with him. Thankfully, Ben and I did not last, but Robyn and I have. Firm friends for 15 years now, so it’s actually hard to pick a song that reminds me of her, coz there have been many. Part of me is tempted to pick something from a school musical we did together (Think of Kidstuff! Or something from Aladdin) but it’s not likely that they’ll come on the radio and I’ll have flashbacks. So I have two songs for my Robyn.

Waterfalls - TLC

In year 11 we were in choir together, we performed one number at presentation night and it was this. Now, Robyn might not be the, um, most vocally gifted person i have ever met, but she can rap, which is what she did. We spent a term rehersing this song, probably less time than we spent rehersing our dances in Movement to Britney (a song that i almost picked here actually)

As i've known her 15 years, she also gets two songs, soo....

Even Angels Fall - Jessica Riddle (from 10 things i hate about you)

Not only were we typical 90's teenagers in love with Heath Ledger, we also both loved the soundtrack to 10 things. So much so that Robyn did her gymnastics floor routine to this song in Year 10. And now every time it shuffles onto my iTunes i think of her and every good moment of high school comes back. Coz she was the good moments, not the shitty bullying ones, or the struggling with Chemistry ones, but the getting hyper on Tim Tams, or hanging out in the corridors because she'd fainted and we were legitimately cutting class. 

Jane

Before Jane left to go to the UK, she was my gig buddy. One evening we went and saw Kisschasy at Ding Dong, and being the niave young country people that we were, we got their early and saw all the support acts because i hadn't learnt that start times didn't mean go on times. Not a horrible scenario, as we saw a not-too-bad band called Capeside on this particular occasion. Now, i have no idea what Capeside sung, i have their music around here somewhere i think, but they have one rather awesome song playing before they went on. Jane and i both loved it. The day after, i stalked the band on MySpace (HAHAHA) and pestered them to tell me what it was, then promptly downloaded it. So, that's my Jane song.

Head Automatica - Beating Hearts Baby

Kylie

So Kylie is a friend-steal. Robyn's best friend from College, i have promptly stolen her and won't let her go. She has many theories about what makes people who they are, one of them being that divorced parents pretty much screw their kids up so they're not interested in marriage as adults. We've discussed it often, and most of the time it actually rings true (it's like the country people are nice thing.... it's just how you're raised....). So when i was listening to Megan Washington's Insomnia EP and came across High Treason, with its lyric Just because my parents aren't divorced doesn't mean i'm not fucked up too' i was instantly reminded of her. So now, in what is actually quite a sad feeling song, i smile and think of her when it comes on. 

Washington - High Treason

Steve.
While at Falls, Africa by Toto came on as a music filler between acts and she commented that it was her and her man's 'song' and asked me what mine and Steve's was. Well, after laughing at the fact that people still had songs, i realised we don't actually have one. So, as a couple we don't, but there are still several songs that remind me of that rather remarkable young man that's taken up quite a bit of space in my heart. 


The Kooks - Do You Wanna 

So much for me being romantic. bah ha ha ha 


Then there's this.
Sir Mixalot - Baby Got Back

which was his response when i asked him what our song was. Seriously, we're the most romantic people you know.


Beyond that, there are nicer songs that remind me of him. He's responsible for my new found love of Bon Iver for one thing, even if they're not the most romantic songs you can think of. And, for some reason (maybe he played it for me once) Crazy by Gnarls Barkley never ceases to make me smile and think of him. But, for the nicer song, it's this at the moment.


Gotye - I Feel Better. 

Sarah
Sarah and i lived together after Jane went OS. She had all of Dawsons Creek on DVD. So, now as i make my way through Dawsons, it's the theme that reminds me of her. 

Mouse
Another friend steal, Mouse and i bonded over having Missy Higgins as breakup songs for past relationships, so now whenever i hear the angsty strains of Missy i think of that drunken afternoon on the hill hanging out with that young guy who said we looked 21 and his bitter and angry friend who said we were fossils and shouldn't be here. 


Unfortunately, i can't remember which Missy song it was, i now just associate all of her breakup songs with mouse (which is a little unfortunate and we should spend some time this year changing that fact) so here's 


Missy Higgins - Where i Stood

Kali

When you live with someone you develop odd in jokes and you kinda forget that they don't make sense to other people. One of those is 'Are we still into Coolio?' which comes from a Hamish and Andy CD, but that line is now just something that gets thrown around our house. Subsequently, the only Coolio song i know now reminds me of Kali

Coolio - Gangstas Paradise

Kali also has this thing where she turns stuff into song. She is, in fact, Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. 

I give you these two items (the latter which is also a household thing for us) as examples. 

So, from the Posse, there is just Katie. And it's interesting, but i don't have songs for Katie. I have things. Alannah Hill, Bookshops, Red Lipstick. They are all Katie things, but she has no music at the moment. More time, more things, more moments will change that. 

And of course there are people from my past that have, and will always have songs attached to them. Ex's. My best friend Jo from primary school who introduced me to Greenday so every time i hear Redundant i think of her. PK who loves The Cure, Paige who always got rowdy when Better Man came on at The Nott. Ney who sang Human loudly when we were at Moomba that Hazy, Lazy Crazy summer. Those songs will forever belong to those people to me. 

Minifig challenge

About a year ago i started collecting Lego Minifigures. (and let me say it now. It's Lego. NOT LEGOS. Who are you, Americans?). They release two series a year (pretty much) but i didn't get into them til Series Three was available. It means i spend many afternoons sitting on the floor of Target feeling my way through packets (it's like a lucky dip) to get ones i'm missing (If anyone has the graduate from series six... it is my birthday after all...). 

So i have all of 3, 4, 5 (except that Graduate) and then the lovely Boyfriend went and bought be series 1 complete for Christmas (and individually wrapped them all, coz he's cute like that). I'm also on holidays at the moment. And while i love my long breaks over summer, it sucks because no one else has the time off and they're all off doing this weird thing called 'work' so I have to amuse myself. 

I have decided to do that in two different ways. 

1. I will walk somewhere interesting every day. I love walking, it's the only form of exercise I actually enjoy. I've been walking from my house in Malvern to St Kilda quite a bit in the last couple of months, and yesterday i walked to Hawthorn. I'm picking places that are between 4km and 6km away and i can PT back from, with the added bonus of them having coffee/food at the end of them. It allows me to explore my side of the city a bit more. I have Camberwell and South Yarra on my list of places to walk to as well. 

2. I will take interesting/funny/cute photos of my minifigs: I have so many of them, i just want to do something with them. I pick one, then figure out what/how i want to photograph. It combines two of my interests! Awesome fun right? I've done three so far, and the first is my favourite. I'll publish them all to my Tumblr (http://sothisisstrange.tumblr.com/) and collate them all back here at the end of the holidays. If i like them enough, i'm thinking of getting a photobook of them printed!

s

Day 1: Fishing

Day 2: That One! 

I had terrible trouble with the light on this one. Too bright or too shady. This is actually taken with my RayBans as a filter over my iPhone camera

Day 3: Best. Day. Ever.