It's just hard (cross post from my Tumblr)

I have a very different teaching load this year. Last year was different too, moving into new spaces, integrating subjects, bigger teams teaching bigger groups of kids. That was different and difficult in its own way, but it was a step forward. I finally felt like I was teaching kids things that were relevant in a flexible way that allowed for greater individual development with the kids. The jargon line is always “multiple entry points, multiple exit points”. And when things got shit there was someone else in the room who knew it, and could plan against it next time.

This year feels like a step backwards in a sense. I’m not teaching in those integrated subjects anymore. I’m not team teaching at all, for the first time in my career. I’m being forced, in a way, to teach in what I feel are more old school instructional ways that are that step backwards.

On top of that, 4 out of my 6 subjects don’t have a course outline. The two that do? VCE biology which is, of course, written by the “state” and year 8 science which I wrote last year. Sports science ran all last year but there is no program because the teacher who ran it refused to share her course then left the school (and actually the profession). Two subjects are English language Centre subjects, something that I’m really struggling with. Floundering. There’s no indication what people want me to teach these kids, what even the goals of the course are.
For both the courses there are no guiding text books. I don’t love textbooks, I don’t use them a whole lot with the kids, what i do use them for is to guide me on the content I should be teaching. To construct those multiple entry and multiple exits within a class. But there is nothing. And no one to rely on to team teach with.

It’s only the 3rd day of classes and maybe it will change. Maybe I’ll be struck by inspiration and a course will spring to mind. But at the moment it’s just hard.

vanity posting, i suppose.

So i've lost a little bit of weight. I know how much numerically, on the scales, and i know how many dress sizes i've dropped and i'm happy with that. Really happy. I still have about 6kg to go to hit my ultimate goal weight, which i want to do before May which is when our proposed 10 Year school reunion is. But if it takes a bit longer then fine. I have a feeling these last couple will be a struggle, but if i get back into running and learn how to use the mini-gym they've set up at work then i'll be OK. 

What i was really curious about was what i looked like before and after. Because sometimes i struggle to see the difference. I know i fit into clothes that are two or three sizes smaller, but sometimes i look down and still see acres and acres of flesh that needs to be "dealt with"

So this afternoon i put togther a couple of images. A before and after (or during, really) if you will. 

(biggest thing i learnt? I don't have many full body shots of me). 

I wanted to do a Tshirt-tshirt comparison, but i don't really have any recent ones that work, so this is what i've got. 

I through in the 2008 shot because it's the biggest photo of me i can find. The Hep Alien Tshirt i'm wearing in that shot now hangs off me and i'm horrified i had such big guts ever. 

To be completely honest. It doesn't seem like much to me. I can do better and i will do better.