Getting off topic

For the second Xplore (fancy way of saying pastoral care) lesson in a row i've been discussing and exploring (ha ha ha) Cyber bullying and cyber safety with my Year 8's. I have a lovely group of 20 kids who are up for discussion and i'm happy we've finally got the seperate classroom space to be able to run these lessons the way they should be run. This also means that we get horribly off topic, but it a good way. Another Xplore teacher told me he had done this lesson in 30 minutes, i'm going on 150minutes and we're not done yet. 

And that's a good thing.

Yesterday we talked about the good of the internet. They talked about being able to communicate to other people and translate things they never would have been able to before. But also voiced concern about it's addictive nature and how socialising on the internet might not be actual socalising. That it's isolating at the same time because you're in your room talking to people that you think of as friends but can't hug you when you're upset.

These kids are 13. I don't give them enough credit sometimes. I thought the pro's were all going to be about games and free downloads and the cons about sexual predators. They were more insightful than that. (though there was liberal use of the term 'pedo' being thrown around).

I'd picked a video called 'Keeping Safe Online' and it was interesting to use as a springbox. I kept stopping it because i disagreed with the hard and fast rules that the woman was applying to online interaction. There seems to be this thing with cyber safety video's that leads me with the impression that there isn't a single good person on the internet; that they're all after my money or my body. All phishing or sexual predators. 

And that's a little sad for me. Yes, i get that it's safer to be discouraging kids from meeting strangers from the internet, but we should be emphaising the connections kids can make with like minded souls shouldn't we? As a twitter nerd, i've met a number of internet strangers and so far, none of them have been horrible people. They're actually incredibly lovely. Shouldn't we being having sessions about this? or about how to deal with the fall out of what to do if they are a bit unstable? It's like the idea that my students have that rape happens in a dark ally by a stranger. Shouldn't we be educating about the facts? Preparing kids about how to give consent, what consent is and when consent is breached? 

It comes down to my feelings that most people are good people. I like to think that we should be encouraging the niceness not the harm... 

The other interesting thing to come out of this was discussions about privacy on Facebook and as an odd segue the use of the word 'slut' and sexism when it comes to sexuality between the genders (and a small bit about the evolution of swear words. A kid wanted to know why they were chastised for saying 'cunt' and what it meant... that was interesting, none of them knew the literal meaning and we had a discussion about intent of words vs literal interpretations. Again, they're year 8). 

Like so many schools in Melbourne, last term we had a 'gossip' page on facebook spring up. The 'goss' all seemed to be focused around how 'slutty' girls were. The kids kept interjecting with tidbits about girls who had cheated, or had more than one boyfriend with a too short a space of each other. When challenged about why they use slut and why they think picking on a girl for drressing skimpily or having consensual sex with several people was appropriate, or worthy of judgement they were a little stumped. One girl said it was because girls were supposed to be 'nice' and that we had 'higher expecations for girls than guys.' I found that sad. That we hold girls on this pedestal and that we don't have high expexctations for boys. "guys are more horny" "girls are more emotional" "guys have penises that are different and girls are all the same" was an incredibly interesting judgement that i really had no comeback to, beyond questioning how that was linked. Challenging these ideas that kids have is hard, and i'm still figuring out how best to approach them in a class. 

I think the best thing i can take away is that this was healthy, frank discussion with kids. That they were having a say about Facebook and who should have access to it. That they demand the same privacy rights as adults, but need to understand that they need to be held responsible for them. That even if parents do have access to their facebook, and they do bully, who is to say the parents care? 

We're going on with it next week. I want to talk about sexting too. 

Man i love my job. Love it.

Am I Missing Out?

I was at dinner the other day with 5 friends, all female by-the-by, and the conversation turned to living overseas. 3 of the four others had done so in the last two years (Ireland and the UK) and the other had just decided that she was going to do it next year before it "got too late." As they chatted about Visas, temp vs permanent work, travel options while she was there, getting about Europe on trains Vs Buses, i drifted into silence. I had nothing to add. 
I haven't lived Overseas. And on top of that the way i've travelled is not the 'great backerpacker journey' that every young Australian seems to take.
I have seemingly missed that rite of passage. I went to Europe last year, but i did it with my mum and we stayed in hotels. Please don't read into that like i'm a douchey, privileged child who sponged of my mum the whole time. We both scrimped and saved to do it, and i chose to do it with her because all of my life (until she passed away last year) my grandmother always spoke about how she wished she had gone to Paris, and i know my mother had felt the same way. But having 6 kids, starting when your 22, and survining on a bakers income meant that she never had that opportunity. She'd never go alone and since dad had an accident and shattered the bones in his ankle, he would never be able to do the Europe trip she has always wanted to do. So we did it. And it was marvellous. Berlin, Prague, Salzburg, Rome, Paris, Londong, up the east coast of England to Scotland, Across from Edinburgh to Dublin and around Ireland. We had a lovely time. I caught up with many friends and now have a massive list of places i want to go back to and experience more of. 
But it wasn't what they had experienced. It was only a month to start off with, a taster of places. And i was in hotels, with plenty of money and nice places to stay. No stories of bed bugs or dodgy hostels. I have stories of 5m German Buffet breakfasts and French pastries for breakfast in a hotel in Monmarte.  

I didn't intentionally stay in Melbourne to build my career. I've never really thought of myself as "career focused." In teaching, those people bring visions of the people who have goals to be principal in 10 years.  Those annoying Gen Y grads who think they should be in leadership positions immediately and get indignant when they're not. I'm not like that. I'm still not even sure i want any kind of leadership position as i see how they take people out of the classroom and i don't really want to be out of the classroom. I spent quite a bit of time building my skills and understanding in that area, why throw it away to spend all that time dealing with paperwork? But i've stayed at the same job. I was going to earn enough and then go Overseas. I qualify for a UK grandparents Visa, and i have a teaching degree. Living and earning pounds would have been an easy thing to do. My best friend has been in Edinburgh pretty much solidly since 2006, my other best friends in the time since then. I wouldn't have been alone even. But i didn't go. 
Things came up. One boyfriend. Then another. Then kids i wanted to see graduate, or help through Year 12. And now i'm on the verge of turning 27, and have spent the last five years working full time, but am single and there is technically nothing holding me back. 


So why aren't i rushing to go? 
Maybe it's because i've always liked my life here. I love my job, almost every aspect about it. i love the innovative things we're doing and two of the work mates that left and came back still exclaim about how much they have missed by not being here, the planning and implementation of the new programs and the way they should run. 
I love my little flat in my lovely suburb. I've finally found a housemate that doesn't make being at home a chore or somewhere i want to be. At the end of next month all my closest friends will now be back in this state. 
My nephew is one and gorgeous... 


Are these excuses or legitimate reasons for staying? is this something one has to make excuses for not doing? It feels like i should, particularly as i don't have a boyfriend/fiance/husband. You don't have one of them and i feel like i have no reason to have not lived overseas. 


Will i think it will be good for me? Yeah, i really do. Mostly. And i have craved the idea of going somewhere where no one knows me and i have no expectations to live up to. It's just me in a brand new, shiny city, waiting for me to make my impression on it. 


At the moment i've semi-settled on the idea of going at the end of 2012/start of 2013, as my first lot of Year 7's will have finished and i should have completed my Masters by then too, which hopefully make me more employable. But i've said stuff like that before, and things change... 


But i still don't know. Am i missing out? Should i feel bad for not going? Is it something i have to make excuses for?