Comedy Festival is my favourite time of the year. With the delightfully warmer weather, it's made it more relaxed and meant that i spend more time around the city and less around my suburbs later at night than i would in non-festival times. And doing that means that I'm faced with the dilemma i know many women face 'late night tram or taxi?'
Why is this a dilemma for me, and many women? Because it's a question of which is going to be less of a risk to my safety.
This time(ish) last year i went on Slut-Walk. Whatever your disagreements with the movement, almost everyone agreed that people shouldn't be raped and should feel safe wherever they go in our great city. And it's a sad thing that as we were walking away from SlutWalk that i turned to my friend and said 'It's nice that i feel empowered, but I'm still apprehensive of getting in a cab alone at night. This walk won't change that.'
And it hasn't. A year later, any time i have to come home alone it still feels like I'm risking something getting in a cab or taking the last tram home alone. And i hate that. I don't want to feel that way. But having been cornered on a tram by a group of guys will make that happen. And being asked constant questions about having a boyfriend and who I'm going home to by a cab driver will make that happen.
Most of the time, I don't even bat an eyelash at this. Not being accosted, but the fact that it might/does happen. Women accept things like this all the time. Accept that these kinds of advances will happen, unwanted, and in a way that will make them uncomfortable. It's the same way that we accept that we will get groped on the arse or tits in certain nightclubs/bars on the dance floor. It just happens, we don't make a fuss because it happens to everyone right? We don't make a fuss because cab drivers make us uncomfortable all the time right? Men hit on us when we're the only ones on the tram and just want to be left alone all the time, right?
But why, why do i have to just accept it? Why do i feel like I'm causing a scene or overreacting if i react to this? Why do people feel they have the right to do this?
Lazing in the park today, my friends and i were talking about Primary School RE classes, and how the message back then was
Be a good person. Be kind to people. Treat others how you want to be treated.
That was it. No messages of hate, no encouragement to take whatever you wanted at the expense of other people. Kindness and empathy.
A couple of weeks ago that same message was what i came up with at dinner as the key to getting on in life, and even being successful, but i condensed it down then to 'Don't be a Dick.' It's short, it's easy to remember. If you're going to do something, simply ask 'Is this a bit Dickish?' If you even waver at an answer, it probably is and maybe you should just not do it.
When did people lose this? Did they ever have it? I know there has been lots of talk about institutions condoning or at least pardoning to a certain extent, the continuation of cultures that ignore sexism (things like ADFA and certain university colleges come to mind) but when did we stop assigning individual responsibility? Is it a cultural thing? Why aren't these people considering what they're doing as Dickish? At what point in ones life do you go from being a kid that's taught to love everything to thinking that grabbing a hot chicks tit on the tram when she's alone at 2am is an appropriate, or even non-threatening piece of behaviour?
Interestingly, I never thought that kind of thing was strange, not even at 18 and fresh from the country did i think 'maybe i shouldn't be groped'. Or that any of this shouldn't happen. Even now, i acknowledge that i should be able to get in a cab or on a tram and feel safe but know that it won't happen. That tomorrow night could be a night where i get off a tram feeling a bit shakey, but man "that's just what happens" it's shitty, but it's not strange.
That shouldn't be just what happens. That should be strange.
I have a very different teaching load this year. Last year was different too, moving into new spaces, integrating subjects, bigger teams teaching bigger groups of kids. That was different and difficult in its own way, but it was a step forward. I finally felt like I was teaching kids things that were relevant in a flexible way that allowed for greater individual development with the kids. The jargon line is always “multiple entry points, multiple exit points”. And when things got shit there was someone else in the room who knew it, and could plan against it next time.
This year feels like a step backwards in a sense. I’m not teaching in those integrated subjects anymore. I’m not team teaching at all, for the first time in my career. I’m being forced, in a way, to teach in what I feel are more old school instructional ways that are that step backwards.
On top of that, 4 out of my 6 subjects don’t have a course outline. The two that do? VCE biology which is, of course, written by the “state” and year 8 science which I wrote last year. Sports science ran all last year but there is no program because the teacher who ran it refused to share her course then left the school (and actually the profession). Two subjects are English language Centre subjects, something that I’m really struggling with. Floundering. There’s no indication what people want me to teach these kids, what even the goals of the course are. For both the courses there are no guiding text books. I don’t love textbooks, I don’t use them a whole lot with the kids, what i do use them for is to guide me on the content I should be teaching. To construct those multiple entry and multiple exits within a class. But there is nothing. And no one to rely on to team teach with.
It’s only the 3rd day of classes and maybe it will change. Maybe I’ll be struck by inspiration and a course will spring to mind. But at the moment it’s just hard.
So i've lost a little bit of weight. I know how much numerically, on the scales, and i know how many dress sizes i've dropped and i'm happy with that. Really happy. I still have about 6kg to go to hit my ultimate goal weight, which i want to do before May which is when our proposed 10 Year school reunion is. But if it takes a bit longer then fine. I have a feeling these last couple will be a struggle, but if i get back into running and learn how to use the mini-gym they've set up at work then i'll be OK.
What i was really curious about was what i looked like before and after. Because sometimes i struggle to see the difference. I know i fit into clothes that are two or three sizes smaller, but sometimes i look down and still see acres and acres of flesh that needs to be "dealt with"
So this afternoon i put togther a couple of images. A before and after (or during, really) if you will.
(biggest thing i learnt? I don't have many full body shots of me).
I wanted to do a Tshirt-tshirt comparison, but i don't really have any recent ones that work, so this is what i've got.
I through in the 2008 shot because it's the biggest photo of me i can find. The Hep Alien Tshirt i'm wearing in that shot now hangs off me and i'm horrified i had such big guts ever.
To be completely honest. It doesn't seem like much to me. I can do better and i will do better.
So Kali yells out from the lounge room the other day "Mel! What's your favourite movie of all time?" She'd been asked and didn't have an answer, found it too hard to cut them down. I've always used The Princess Bride as my standard answer to this question, it's a family classic, i know all the words, it's mainstream but still probably regarded as a cult classic. I feel it's a good answer to the question. But she couldn't narrow it down anything smaller than a list of 50. I repeat 50. So i've gone and spent a rocking Saturday night putting my list of 50 top movies together. They're in no particular order, just what i thought of off the top of my head. She also put the stipulation in that series of movies (like Harry Potter) could be grouped into one movie ranking, but you could remove a movie.
1. Princess Bride
2. Love, Actually
3. Coming to America
4. Lord of the rings trilogy
5. Bridget Jones’ diary
6. Harry Potter series (not the 2nd one)
7. The Breakfast club
8. Pretty in Pink
9. Say anything
10. 10 things I hate about you
11. A knights tale
12. Aladdin
13. The Lion King
14. Mulan
15. Tangled
16. Wall-e
17. How to tame your dragon
18. Despicable me
19. Hairspray
20. The Sound of Music
21. Sister Act 2
22. I am Legend
23. Men in Black series
24. Four Weddings and a Funeral
25. Star wars series
26. Independence Day
27. Last of the Mohicans
28. Indian Jones series (not crystal skull)
29. Easy A
30. Moulin Rouge
31. The Matrix (one only)
32. Up
33. Good Will hunting
34. Toy Story series
35. Wizard of Oz
36. Back to the Future series
37. Saving Private Ryan
38. Beauty and the Beast
39. Forest Gump
40. Batman Begins/Dark Knight
41. Jurassic Park
42. Weekend at Bernies
43. Definitely Maybe
44. Gladiator
45. Inception
46. The Social Network,
47. Sense and Sensibility
48. The Wedding Singer
49. Serenity
50. Speed
Honourable mentions: That thing you do, Cast Away, Mean Girls, The truman show, district 9, Sleepless in Seattle, A walk to remember, Braveheart, Titanic, Nick and Norah’s infinite playlist,
So I started my summer holiday work today as school goes back in about a week and I should be, you know, prepared or something. “starting work” of course meant going to medicare to change my address and get a new card (on the longest bus route possible really. But it’s a Grendas route and their buses have really cushy bench seats and stops right outside my house), then writing up a complete budget so I know what I should be spending and stashing away instead of having to continually dip into my savings like I have for the last six months. Once I did that I played skyrim, then actually started some work. I got about five minutes in (made a cover for my first booklet for the 12’s, looked at my term schedule) I had to go looking for the CD for the Bio text book and found my listography book.
Long way of saying the new topic of my music list is ‘a song dedicated to each of your friends’. I’m going to start with my posse. It was pointed out to me the other day at my birthday picnic that all of my closest friends are from the country. And it’s true, beyond the boyfriend, everyone there was brought up in the country. Just a curious aside, more than anything, so, to the list!
Robyn
I met Robyn in year 7, she had seen me earlier in the year when I was with my first boyfriend Ben, and wondered why I, someone so seemingly smart, was with him. Thankfully, Ben and I did not last, but Robyn and I have. Firm friends for 15 years now, so it’s actually hard to pick a song that reminds me of her, coz there have been many. Part of me is tempted to pick something from a school musical we did together (Think of Kidstuff! Or something from Aladdin) but it’s not likely that they’ll come on the radio and I’ll have flashbacks. So I have two songs for my Robyn.
Waterfalls - TLC
In year 11 we were in choir together, we performed one number at presentation night and it was this. Now, Robyn might not be the, um, most vocally gifted person i have ever met, but she can rap, which is what she did. We spent a term rehersing this song, probably less time than we spent rehersing our dances in Movement to Britney (a song that i almost picked here actually)
As i've known her 15 years, she also gets two songs, soo....
Even Angels Fall - Jessica Riddle (from 10 things i hate about you)
Not only were we typical 90's teenagers in love with Heath Ledger, we also both loved the soundtrack to 10 things. So much so that Robyn did her gymnastics floor routine to this song in Year 10. And now every time it shuffles onto my iTunes i think of her and every good moment of high school comes back. Coz she was the good moments, not the shitty bullying ones, or the struggling with Chemistry ones, but the getting hyper on Tim Tams, or hanging out in the corridors because she'd fainted and we were legitimately cutting class.
Jane
Before Jane left to go to the UK, she was my gig buddy. One evening we went and saw Kisschasy at Ding Dong, and being the niave young country people that we were, we got their early and saw all the support acts because i hadn't learnt that start times didn't mean go on times. Not a horrible scenario, as we saw a not-too-bad band called Capeside on this particular occasion. Now, i have no idea what Capeside sung, i have their music around here somewhere i think, but they have one rather awesome song playing before they went on. Jane and i both loved it. The day after, i stalked the band on MySpace (HAHAHA) and pestered them to tell me what it was, then promptly downloaded it. So, that's my Jane song.
Head Automatica - Beating Hearts Baby
Kylie
So Kylie is a friend-steal. Robyn's best friend from College, i have promptly stolen her and won't let her go. She has many theories about what makes people who they are, one of them being that divorced parents pretty much screw their kids up so they're not interested in marriage as adults. We've discussed it often, and most of the time it actually rings true (it's like the country people are nice thing.... it's just how you're raised....). So when i was listening to Megan Washington's Insomnia EP and came across High Treason, with its lyric Just because my parents aren't divorced doesn't mean i'm not fucked up too' i was instantly reminded of her. So now, in what is actually quite a sad feeling song, i smile and think of her when it comes on.
Washington - High Treason
Steve. While at Falls, Africa by Toto came on as a music filler between acts and she commented that it was her and her man's 'song' and asked me what mine and Steve's was. Well, after laughing at the fact that people still had songs, i realised we don't actually have one. So, as a couple we don't, but there are still several songs that remind me of that rather remarkable young man that's taken up quite a bit of space in my heart.
The Kooks - Do You Wanna So much for me being romantic. bah ha ha ha
Then there's this. Sir Mixalot - Baby Got Back which was his response when i asked him what our song was. Seriously, we're the most romantic people you know.
Beyond that, there are nicer songs that remind me of him. He's responsible for my new found love of Bon Iver for one thing, even if they're not the most romantic songs you can think of. And, for some reason (maybe he played it for me once) Crazy by Gnarls Barkley never ceases to make me smile and think of him. But, for the nicer song, it's this at the moment.
Gotye - I Feel Better.
Sarah Sarah and i lived together after Jane went OS. She had all of Dawsons Creek on DVD. So, now as i make my way through Dawsons, it's the theme that reminds me of her.
Mouse Another friend steal, Mouse and i bonded over having Missy Higgins as breakup songs for past relationships, so now whenever i hear the angsty strains of Missy i think of that drunken afternoon on the hill hanging out with that young guy who said we looked 21 and his bitter and angry friend who said we were fossils and shouldn't be here.
Unfortunately, i can't remember which Missy song it was, i now just associate all of her breakup songs with mouse (which is a little unfortunate and we should spend some time this year changing that fact) so here's
Missy Higgins - Where i Stood
Kali
When you live with someone you develop odd in jokes and you kinda forget that they don't make sense to other people. One of those is 'Are we still into Coolio?' which comes from a Hamish and Andy CD, but that line is now just something that gets thrown around our house. Subsequently, the only Coolio song i know now reminds me of Kali
Coolio - Gangstas Paradise
Kali also has this thing where she turns stuff into song. She is, in fact, Marshall from How I Met Your Mother.
I give you these two items (the latter which is also a household thing for us) as examples.
So, from the Posse, there is just Katie. And it's interesting, but i don't have songs for Katie. I have things. Alannah Hill, Bookshops, Red Lipstick. They are all Katie things, but she has no music at the moment. More time, more things, more moments will change that.
And of course there are people from my past that have, and will always have songs attached to them. Ex's. My best friend Jo from primary school who introduced me to Greenday so every time i hear Redundant i think of her. PK who loves The Cure, Paige who always got rowdy when Better Man came on at The Nott. Ney who sang Human loudly when we were at Moomba that Hazy, Lazy Crazy summer. Those songs will forever belong to those people to me.
About a year ago i started collecting Lego Minifigures. (and let me say it now. It's Lego. NOT LEGOS. Who are you, Americans?). They release two series a year (pretty much) but i didn't get into them til Series Three was available. It means i spend many afternoons sitting on the floor of Target feeling my way through packets (it's like a lucky dip) to get ones i'm missing (If anyone has the graduate from series six... it is my birthday after all...).
So i have all of 3, 4, 5 (except that Graduate) and then the lovely Boyfriend went and bought be series 1 complete for Christmas (and individually wrapped them all, coz he's cute like that). I'm also on holidays at the moment. And while i love my long breaks over summer, it sucks because no one else has the time off and they're all off doing this weird thing called 'work' so I have to amuse myself.
I have decided to do that in two different ways.
1. I will walk somewhere interesting every day. I love walking, it's the only form of exercise I actually enjoy. I've been walking from my house in Malvern to St Kilda quite a bit in the last couple of months, and yesterday i walked to Hawthorn. I'm picking places that are between 4km and 6km away and i can PT back from, with the added bonus of them having coffee/food at the end of them. It allows me to explore my side of the city a bit more. I have Camberwell and South Yarra on my list of places to walk to as well.
2. I will take interesting/funny/cute photos of my minifigs: I have so many of them, i just want to do something with them. I pick one, then figure out what/how i want to photograph. It combines two of my interests! Awesome fun right? I've done three so far, and the first is my favourite. I'll publish them all to my Tumblr (http://sothisisstrange.tumblr.com/) and collate them all back here at the end of the holidays. If i like them enough, i'm thinking of getting a photobook of them printed!
s
Day 1: Fishing
Day 2: That One!
I had terrible trouble with the light on this one. Too bright or too shady. This is actually taken with my RayBans as a filter over my iPhone camera
I'm going to Falls Festival in Lorne this New Years. That means a trip down from Melbourne with the three other girls i'm camping with, which will of course mean much laughter, much gossip and more than anything, many a sing-a-long.
While the other three worry about tents, eskies and money, i concerned myself with the road trip playlist. I think we'll be powering along with mini speakers in a beat up station wagon, so it's like a Big M commercial all over really.
My list on my phone is currently seven hours-ish in length, so i'm not sure you need to see it all. But i think it's interesting reading, but that's coz i made it. So after my little ramble, i'll screencap the list for your perusal.
Essential Road Trip items:
The Classics: I'm talking the real classics, not what my students would call a classic, which would be like Chris Browns early works... In my list there's a touch of the Beatles, a touch of Queen, some Monkees and some Beach Boys.
The 90's Pop: We're all children of the 90's. We were all brought up on a healthy diet of Backstreet Boys and S Club 7. So there's Bring it all Back, Backstreet's Back, and some Summer Rain and You were meant for me to unleash our teenage selves. Britney, Destiny's Child and Robbie Williams all feature as well
Australian Rock/Pop/Singersongwriter: Powderfinger, Living End, Washington, Missy Higgins, Josh Pyke. The latter two who will be at Falls, so i hand picked some of my favourite tracks. I've also put on some Jezabels and Fleet Foxes because they will be there, but they're not in the playlist.
The rest is filled with "new" music that is good for a sing-a-long. And if we get tired of my music, there will be three other ipods to choose from! And yes, the Glee is there because they're good singing songs!
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